Sons Bathtub Modification

The man in the yellow vest scratched his stomach, eyebrow raised in disbelief at the state the house had been left in.

‘You saying your… son did this?’ he asked, incredulous.

‘Oh yes,’ the old lady smiled at him. ‘He’s such a lovely boy. Came in one day and told me that he had a lovely surprise for me.’

‘Ma’am,’ the contractor grunted, hand still nervously pressed against his belly. ‘He, uh… I don’t think he…’

‘What’s that, young man?’

He sighed. Deeply.

‘He ripped all the copper out of your walls,’ he relented. ‘Looks like he took most of your plumbing too…’

‘Oh, you mean my bath modifications? Sydney ran out of porcelain, he told me,’ she explained. ‘He’ll be around any day to finish the tiling.’

‘What tiling?’ the contractor threw his hands up. ‘There’s no tiling started!’

‘It’s on backorder!’ she insisted.

He pressed his palm into his forehead, physically aware of his blood pressure.

‘Alright,’ he said, after a moment. ‘The tiles are on backorder; sure. But what about the actual bath, lady?’

She glanced down at the shattered tub and smiled again – although her eyes had wild desperation, like something was trying to break through.

‘It’s just, uh… you know. It’s the newest trend in Sydney. You know for us old folks, not something that I would expect you to be aware of, young man.’

‘It’s a hole,’ he grunted. ‘There’s a hole in your bath tub, below what I would comfortably declare is the waterline.’

‘It’s trendy!’

‘It’s broken!’

‘It’s for my hip!’

He took another deep breath, hands wringing at his sides. ‘Look, I know what you’re talking about – there are companies around Sydney that do bathtub cut outs for elderly people. It’s a great idea, will definitely help you as you find it harder to move.’

She nodded, as if accepting an apology.

‘BUT THIS IS NOT IT, LADY!’

She jumped back, surprised, hand clutching at a naked thread around her neck. The man’s eyes narrow.

‘Ma’am,’ he said softly. ‘Tell me honestly – did that used to have pearls on it?’